Sunday, August 28, 2005

That's a bold statement - College Gameday Recap

College Gameday's preview special yesterday. Hyperbole and definitive statements abound. Remember that poll voters rely on these mouths to shape their votes. These statements set the table for how football is perceived. Here're a few choice selections. Definitive, uncategorical statements only (no "If so and so happens..."). By pundit:

USC won't win the national title because of D and departing offensive coaches.
Paterno and Bowden will coach as long as physically able (not retire this year).
Paterno has done more than any coach ever ever ever.
Bowden will coach longer than Paterno.
Oklahoma doesn't win the Big 12, national title.
Texas wins the Big 12 because Mack Brown's been around a long time.
NSFMF: Forget ND opening 2-3, might be 0-6. During this monologue Corso looked pissed at interruptions, drawing hearty laughter at the Douchebag estates.
Spurrier won't win an SEC title or BCS game at USC.
Vince Young wins the Heisman.
Eric Crouch was the worst passer (trails off, drooling...)
Big 12: Texas
Big East: Pitt
ACC: Miami over FSU twice
Big 10: Ohio State because they're going to Columbus in 2 weeks.
Pac-10: USC but doesn't win the national title
BCS Title: Ohio State vs. LSU. Ohio State wins.

[He's pretty good at framing things to avoid predictions, generally. Or at least better than the others.]
Frosh to watch: DeShawn Jackson (Cal), Jamal Charles (Tex.)
Chris Leak "not a great runner" but will have a great year if healthy (watch Josh Portis if Leak hurt)
Texas A&M wins the Big 12 South.
ND will win eventually, but not this year barring a miracle.
Jimmy Clausen wants to play for Spurrier (interesting comment, sort of out of place).
Leinart, Bush Vince Young/Ted Ginn winner, Reggie McNeal, Chris Leak, Marcus Vick are Heisman potentials. Leinart wins it. Reggie Bush is the best player on the team. Leinart is the Most Valuable Player.
Big 12: Texas A&M
Big East: Louisville
ACC: Va Tech
SEC: LSU wins over Florida (Alabama a sleeper)
Big 10: Ohio State
Pac-10: Matt Leinart wins it (Oregon 2nd)
BCS Title: Ohio State v. USC, Ohio State wins.
Multiple undefeated teams - Louisville is this year's Auburn.

USC wasn't "exactly dominating" last year.
Frosh to watch: Jonathan Stewart (Oregon)
Derrick Johnson was the best LB of the alst 10 years.
Ohio State beats Texas by 17 (then he qualifies it later... by adding a "what if", initially he said "what's going to happen after [that] happens")
South Carolina is a sleeping giant and they'll be in a BCS bowl within 3 years. (whoa)
Heisman: Off the chart types - Marshawn Lynch, Gerald Riggs. Reggie Bush wins it. John David Booty could step right in at USC without missing a beat.
Big 12: Texas
Big East: Louisville (not even close)
ACC: Va Tech
Big 10: Michigan
Pac-10: Pete Carroll wins it (I think he said Washington St. 2nd)
BCS Title: USC v. Va. Tech. Va. Tech wins.

Hardcore USC bandwagon. USC will "get better this year".
Only team that can beat USC is USC.
Bowling Green a BCS buster, will beat Wisconsin.
Texas will win the Big 12.
No big bowl for So. Carolina this year, but next 3-4 years.
Voting for Reggie Bush for the Heisman
Big 12: Texas
Big East: Pitt
ACC: Miami
Big 10: Purdue
Pac-10: Reggie Bush wins it.
BCS Title: USC v. Texas. USC wins

USC faces a lot of roadblocks (road games in conference).
Va Tech faces a "hostile opener" at NC State.
Adrian Peterson has a great chance at the Heisman.
SEC stronger than Big 10.

Other nuggets of wisdom:

Bob Stoops: "They didn't give us that opportunity to play for the national championship. That was earned." Millions of Auburn fans just flooded their outhouses with vomit. Stoops has quickly moved to the front of my annoying media whore list for college football.

I thought TiVo had accidentally changed to MTV2 during one commercial break because it sure looked like the "Diary" of Tony Yayo. Confusing. I hope I don't go back to slingin' yayo [to get my mayo]

Alberts (shockingly) raises an interesting point, though he doesn't take it to the next logical progression. What if Purdue and Ohio State (which don't play each other) both go undefeated? Could we see a mythical Big 10 title game at the Rose Bowl? 'Cause that would be boring as hell.

Big & Rich and Cowboy Troy are performing before the UCF/USC game Thursday. Once again, thanks, ESPN, for reminding me why I hate everything.

They all laughed at the Harris Poll. See below.

So I'll try to keep up on the GasBagBrigade's shifting predictions and posturing all year. And remember that these guys actually have an influence on the games themselves by virtue of the fact that they are serious gatekeepers of what teams get talked about and plenty of voters rely on them. Hold them accountable.