Monday, January 02, 2006

Been a while

A few quick Bowl takes...

1) I'll do a complete wrapup of this morning's Gameday, but let me make a few quick takes on it. First off, whoever thought it'd be a good idea to do a show in the dark in front of exactly nobody is an idiot. Do it in the studio, or go to the Fiesta Bowl and maybe they'd have a few more hours of daylight and some tailgating fans. Second, it was just genius that they had live reports from Shelley Smith and Steve Cyphers. 6:30 AM in the pouring rain two days before the game. Just bush league local news bullshit. Third, in the words of Pesci in Raging Bull, where'd Herbstreit and Fowler get the balls big enough to bitch about the hype USC's been getting? Seriously, these two guys are the two most high profile churglers of Trojan cock nationwide. Don't like all the hype? Think it's too much? DON'T PROMOTE THEM! Fourth, just an incredible line by Fowler calling the Cotton Bowl (which happens to be televised on a network outside of the ABC/ESPN family) a meaningless "exhibition" game. Readers, you know what I think about a comment like this. Unacceptable for anyone who could once consider himself a journalist. Corporate shill. Also, there was one moment where the crew was just talking up the SEC big time and railing against the Big Ten. While normally I'd say that this is "about time", in this instance, I thought they were just stupidly wrong. A) they didn't mention the South Carolina bedshitting in Shreveport. Their complete comment was based on the LSU-Miami Peach Bowl. One damn game. The rest of the SEC hadn't played yet. Yes, LSU looked great, but one damn game doesn't mean the conference has been great. B) The Big Ten has two BCS teams. That means their 3rd place team plays where their 2nd place team would normally. Their 4th place team plays where the 3rd would normally. And so on. So in every single matchup, they are playing a more difficult matchup than they normally would. Shockingly, the crew of Gameday failed to grasp this concept, and instead railed how bad the Big Ten has looked. Just weak. My first pass on the show was that this was probably the worst outing of the year. Like... Miami at the Peach Bowl-level failing to show up.

2) Dude. Iowa got screwed. First off, that helmet to helmet call at the end of the first half was just total crap, and directly led to 7 points. They might not have gotten any points but for that flag. Then the offside call on the onside kick was about the level of quality as a bought and paid for Brazillian soccer linesman. Who knows if the Hawkeyes would've won, but I wouldn't crow too loudly about that win if I were a Gator. Also, Chris Leak is slow and afraid to take a hit.

3) Whoever is playing cornerback for Auburn on the right side of the field is not good. Wisconsin has had that 5-15 yard out open all day long.

4) NBC. You cover one (ONE!!!!) bowl game. Send your HD cameras. You look like public television compared to everyone else. Makes me worried about the Winter Olympics coming up. They f'd up the HD in Athens by not showing live events in HD and having screwed up schedules. They'd show something in HD like 4 days after the event happened, and also they'd show the lamest shit in HD (like weightlifting) and then not use HD for sports that would be much better with it (like Basketball, soccer, any team sport really). Whoever is running NBC sports is an amateur.

Maybe more thoughts later.


5) OK, here's the meanest thing I've written on here: Brady Quinn's sister. You knew that the TV people would put you on camera a million times. You hired a freemason to cake on your makeup. You used hair tips from Darth Helmet Jeanne Zelasko to ensure no movement. But did you really look at yourself in the mirror before putting on that ridiculously terrible jersey? Did it come from the Ann Bowden collection? And really do you want to give your own flesh and blood only as much credit as your current boyfriend, who looks a lot like Triple H with worse grooming? The second AJ fails an NFL drug test (nobody has a furrowed brow that... uhh... furrowed without chemistry, unless Cirroc is his father), he'll be letting John Cena use "clever" turns of phrase with the word "Buckeye" at untelevised WWE events in Akron. And let's not get into the testicular issues. Anyway, do you want to be watching the tape of this game with your family 20 years from now only to be reminded of how you used to date one half of the tag team title holders?

6) Jerry Rice: nice shirt.