Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Flick the Button

I need to do this more often, because I know I'm watching movies and then forgetting about them before I write it down. Two this time should've gone last time.

King Arthur: It took me about 5 times to get through this. Historically arrogant and ignorant. Not exciting. Stupid. Anything that makes Clive Owen not cool sucks royally. You're Fired.

Fantastic Four: Boring, lamely acted. The thing I'm wondering about is why they released this as a summer blockbuster when it clearly didn't have the goods. I would've dumped it in the winter, when action movies like Elektra and DareDevil come out. Nonetheless, it sucked. You're Fired.

Two For The Money: Ehh. Felt like I'd seen it before. Predictable. Seemed like it held Pacino and McConaughey back. Both of them could've hammed it up hilariously, and I think it would've been a more entertaining movie for it. Piven too. Bill Simmons is right about Rene Russo. She just looked like a character from Lord of the Rings or something. Boredom equals You're Fired.

After the Sunset: Come watch movie stars' vacation slides! Should've been more clever, or hotter, or something. Boring. Forgettable. And making Pierce Brosnan boring is unforgettable. You're Fired.

Serenity: I'm not the biggest sci-fi fan. This kind of surprised me, but also I think it probably works better as a series. The effects impressed me, though I thought the storyline was a little shallow. Perhaps if I'd watched Firefly I might've been more into the plot. Like seeing Ejiofor on screen though. And Nathan Fillion should get roles, too. I'm kind of feeling generous, so I'll give it Steak Knives, but just barely.

Cellular: Kind of lame, but also kind of creative. I have a very big soft spot for fast paced, 85 minute movies. This fit right in, too. It kept the pace hot, and the twists weren't so much insulting as fun enough to go along with. Not much scenery chewing, but that's fine. Steak Knives.

Sin City: Pretty, and I liked the dialogue. Some parts were quite great. Others were eye-rolling bad. Rourke's scenes were exceptional, and here they know what to do with Clive Owen. The Willis-Alba string lost me though. It's hit or miss, but the good parts are good enough to get Steak Knives.

The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou: I need to see this again. I know I liked it. I also know that it bit off more than it can chew. I wanted more from about 7 characters. I wanted less of Owen Wilson's terrible Kentucky accent. Great costumes. Great music. Great scenery. I have a feeling that on a repeat view, I'll like the script even more. Steak Knives.