Flick the Button

Oh crap I'm way behind on these.  I know I've missed some of them...

1.  Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.  Waste of time.  Old people running but not hilariously.  And homages to movies that weren't that good to begin with.  And that's before we get to the alien bullshit.  You're Fired.

2.  Iron Man.  Without Downey, this is Daredevil.  But with Downey, this is great fun.  Is it just me, or does Downey seem like the kind of actor that actually entertains, rather than the sort that Hollywood thinks we're interested in?  I want to see this again.  Cadillac.

3.  The Incredible Hulk.  Wasn't as fun as Iron Man, but I still liked it.  I liked how there wasn't a deeper meaning, just popcorn.  And I liked how instead of picking a world landmark to blow up in CGI, they for the most part just destroyed a college campus.  Steak Knives.

4.  Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  A little long, a little painful, but funny at times too.  I can't help liking Russell Brand or Kristin Bell either.  There's kind of a problem with the Apatow stable writing their therapy sessions into their movies, but they get some pretty good jokes in too.  I would go see the vampire musical.  Steak Knives.

5.  You Don't Mess with the Zohan.  I don't believe it myself, but this was funny.  Honestly, I thought I would hate this so much, but everyone in it has this stupid smile on their face and the jokes aren't as quite easy as the last 5 or 6 Sandler comedies (like I said, Apatow gets some jokes in).  I've seen a lot of pretty bad movies lately, and stunningly, this wasn't one.  Steak Knives (and I liked it better than Sarah Marshall).

6.  Get Smart.  So was Anne Hathaway supposed to be Steve Carrell's love interest?  If so, that's weird.  Anyway, if this was supposed to be funny, it wasn't.  It also wasn't exciting.  A complete failure.  You're Fired.

7.  Baby Mama.  Forgotten just about everything about this, and I like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and I've been through the baby thing recently enough to get the jokes.  I guess I liked Amy Poehler's Philly accent.  You're Fired.

8.  The Foot Fist Way.  I'd like to see this a few more times, at increasing levels of drunkenness.  Sure, the plot doesn't really exist.  Danny McBride is hilarious nonetheless.  Steak Knives (but I reserve the right to increase this upon future viewings).

9.  Smart People.  Offensively bad.  You're Fired.

10.  Charlie Bartlett. Anton Yelchin is game, but it's not as funny or interesting as it could've been.  And it felt like Downey was reined in.  We've been here before and funnier.  You're Fired.

11.  Role Models.  We've been here before, but not funnier.  Take a formulaic comedy, add T&A, add copious amounts of cussing, add funny actors and a director that knows comic timing.  I know you're thinking that this is a movie you can wait for a rental, but definitely remember to rent it.  It's very funny.  Steak Knife/Cadillac.

12.  Kung Fu Panda.  Way more violent than I was expecting.  Not for kids under 10 or so, I'd guess.  But it is kind of amusing and kind of entertaining.  Definitely feels like a Dreamworks animated movie and not a Pixar movie, and that's not a good thing.  Fired/Knife.

13.  Hellboy II: The Golden Army.  Having a locker full of Tecate in a can is fucking awesome.  I liked this a hell of a lot more than the first one, and a lot more than most action or comic movies.  Not quite Iron Man level, because Pearlman is good but not Downey great.  Also better than Hulk and 2 of the 3 Spiderman movies.  Sharp Steak Knives.

14. State of Play.  Why are British television miniseries better than most American feature films?  Well acted and well written.  Yes, there are some timeline problems (people appearing in 2 spots across London within moments).  It's still as interesting as anything I've watched in a year.  And everything Bill Nighy does is gold.  See this before the Ben Affleck/Russell Crowe 2 hour version comes out (though I trust Kevin MacDonald to do a decent job).  Cadillac.

15. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2.  Obviously this was a choice of the Lady's (and she'd seen the first one when I wasn't around).  Umm...  It's OK if you want to see something like this?  I didn't want to particularly watch it, and I spent most of the time on the computer or reading, but it didn't bother me that it was on.  Fired, I guess?

16. Hancock.  I liked the idea, but the outcome wasn't exactly good.  The CGI was confusing: the flying looked like the original Superman green-screening, but some other stuff looked pretty cool.  It was short, which was fine because the movie was kind of crappy.  Even though I have no idea what they could've done to make it better, I don't think they focused on the most interesting things about the characters.  You're Fired.  

17. Step Brothers.  I take great care in saying this: I do not think another movie made this decade has as many great one-liners.  I know this movie will get repeat viewings.  Don't fall for the conventional wisdom that Ferrell is passe.  Semi-Pro just sucked.  This was funny.  Cadillac.

18. Wanted.  I watch a lot of crappy action movies, so when I see one that I like I might go overboard on it.  That may be why I got fired up about Iron Man and Hellboy II.  I liked Wanted better than either.  It's action scenes are crazy and kind of goofy, but they just work.  McAvoy seems like an odd choice for an action star, but he pulls it off.  And Jolie, well, what can you say?  She's a freak of nature.  I liked the dialogue, I liked the stunt sequences, I liked the plot (even though I could kind of figure things out).  I would like for there to be more of these movies.  I was upset when it ended.  Cadillac.

19.  Tropic Thunder.  We have so many comedies lately that are really just ad-lib scenes in a tired setup; it's almost odd when we see a comedy that has an actual plot more than just a skeleton for sketches.  This was kind of a real movie, that happened to have funny scenes in it (aside from a few sequences).  Downey, again, is the star among stars.  He's the funniest in a cast of guys who usually carry their own comedies.  He's a fantastic actor.  I'd like to see him nominated for awards for this performance.  I don't know if there are many actors who could have pulled it off.  Cadillac.

20.  The Protector.  Might be the best movie to watch while drunk ever.  Baby elephants; kicking; ridiculous music, lighting and costumes; Thai canal boat chases that lead to helicopter explosions (which Die Hard 4 totally ripped off!); kinda trippy animation; actors that look like Street Fighter characters.  Wildly hilarious.  Also: this movie could have been made in 1985 or 2015 and sent back in a time machine.  We'll never know.   It's insanely, entertainingly ridiculous.  Cadillac.