1. The Duchess. Has not this film been made a dozen times before? Who ponies up the (I'd guess sizable amount of) money to produce these sorts of films? What's the audience? I'm not sure why I was a part of it. You're Fired.
2. Transsiberian. I've always had an odd interest in central Russia, so I kind of wanted this to be good. It was OK, but there was something missing throughout. Maybe miscast, maybe just not the movie I would've made. I didn't hate it, but it wasn't anything to recommend to anyone. You're Fired.
3. RockNRolla. Not as much of a collossal turd as Revolver was, but not as good as Lock Stock or Snatch. A handful of interesting characters, but not all that memorable. You're Fired.
4. Changeling. Far better than expected. Eastwood can do suspense, even if he tends to the cliche Steak Knives.
5. Brick. Exceptionally good. I watched it twice and I'd watch it again. See this. Cadillac.
6. The Dead Girl. An odd movie that I wouldn't recommend, and I don't think people would stumble across, but it was actually pretty good. Seemed a little more like a short novel than a movie, which is kind of a compliment, but I don't know. Dull Steak Knives.
7. Choke. The book is better, despite the best efforts of the cast. Seemed like the studio tamed it down, which is almost always the wrong choice. You're Fired, but read the book.
8. Body of Lies. Hmmm... I like international spy thrillers, and I like all of the actors and the director, but this one didn't work. Every other scene has Crowe and DiCaprio just yelling at each other over cell phones, which is lazy and lame. You're Fired.
9. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. The Lady liked this more than I did. Sweet, I guess. I'd have liked it were I 15. Shrug. You're Fired.
10. Milk. Fantastic performance, pretty good movie. You've heard about this before. Sharp Steak Knives.
11. W. Very good performance, pretty good movie, actually. More entertaining than it should've been. Dull Steak Knives.
12. Crank. Utterly ridiculous and awesomely entertaining. See this. Sharp Steak Knives.
13. Frozen River. Would've made a better short film or novella, but an excellent performance by Melissa Leo. Dull Steak Knives.
14. Junebug. I can tell that the film was made by someone with a complicated relationship with the South, which I think a whole lot of artsy folks down here have. I wonder why the director hasn't made another feature. Worth seeing, but maybe not while one has an impending birth. Steak Knives.
15. How To Lose Friends and Alienate People. Absolutely atrocious. Pegg, you're better than this. You're Fired.
16. The Proposition. Quite beautiful, awfully good. Fine direction. I'm fired up for The Road now. Cadillac, but you should like westerns to think the same way.
17. Pride and Glory. A movie that's been made a dozen times before. Less suspense than an average Law & Order episode. You're Fired.
18. The Transporter. Hilarious, especially the villains. Statham is so effing good. Cadillac.
19. Twilight. Offensively bad. Seriously, I was offended by the baseball scene. As a baseball fan. No self respecting man should have to watch this. You're fired.
20. Notorious. Entertaining as hell, but not exactly great. You will be glad that you've seen this. Steak Knives.
21. Rachel Getting Married. Pretentious, overacted, annoying. See The Celebration instead. You're Fired.
22. Oldboy. Exceptional filmmaking, but it was a bit too much for my tastes. I should probably see this again, knowing what I'm getting into. Reserving rating for another time.
23. The Wind that Shakes the Barley. Historical movies are hard, because they need to come from the perspective of showing the viewer something new. This didn't take the Irish Rebellion in a new direction. I didn't see anything I didn't know already. You're Fired.
24. Away from Her. Very good. One of the best dramas I've seen in a few years. Heartbreaking, realistic, sensitive, even funny. I really respect this film. Cadillac.
25. Taken. A little too serious to be in the class of awesomeness that are most Statham movies. Seeing Liam Neeson kicking people is awesome nonetheless. Steak Knives.
A. East Bound and Down. The best television show about the modern South ever made. If you don't laugh at this show, I don't really want to hang out with you. My highest praise.
I'm sure I missed a ton.