Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Dumber than a bag of balloons? Nope, just a box of hammers.

Gammons' third article this week included one tidbit that set me off on a tangent.

Several weeks ago in Florida, a player who might be the most intelligent man in uniform said, "if I were a four-A player whose game was power and I thought I could make $100 million by taking steroids, who am I to say I wouldn't have done it? There was an entire culture on the periphery, and they were easy to get. There were no warnings in the game against them. They weren't illegal in our workplace. I think the moral outrage directed at some of these individuals is pretty hypocritical."

OK, the substance itself is pretty agreeable. But who do you think the "most intelligent man in uniform" is? Here's the deal: last year or so, when Mark Prior graduated from Stanford, I remember reading about how there were a ridiculously low number of college graduates in baseball. RIDICULOUSLY LOW.

So, I spotted this article that lists the 42 graduates. That's 42 out of 750. For comparison, the SF Chronicle article cited within says that there were more college grads on the Carolina Panthers (out of 55).

So who do you think the "most intelligent man in uniform" is? I'd guess he'd be on the list of 42:

B. Ausmus, B. Boehringer, D. Burba, C. Capuano, J. Carroll, S. Casey, V. Chulk, J. Cirillo, B. Clark, C. Counsell, D. Dreifort, B. File, S. Finley, J. Flaherty, J. Gerut, D. Glanville, R. Greer, K. Gryboski, T. Harper, S. Hasegawa, E. Karros, J. Knott, B. Larson, K. Ligtenberg, M. Loretta, M. Lowell, B. McMillan, J. Moyer, M. Mussina, W. Obermuller, M. Prior, P. Quantrill, M. Remlinger, D. Roberts, S. Schoenweis, S. Shields, S. Sullivan, S. Taguchi, S. Takatsu, T. Walker, W. Williams, T. Womack.

First off, why are middle relievers so likely to be college grads? Weird. Anyway, Peter said the guy was in Florida, so that cuts out any Angels, Giants, Padres, Rockies, D Backs, Cubs, White Sox, Brewers, A's, Mariners, Royals, or Rangers. If I were a betting man, I'd put money on Jody Gerut, simply for the fellating he received a few weeks back in the column on baseball's "future stars".

Anyone know why baseball writers don't throw around the sanctimony about staying in school that other sportswriters rely on?