Intern around... every now and then I get a little bit lonely...

Simmons is back with the intern contest and, all tapped out himself, this time he enlists another writer to come up with a lame question. I think we can go back to the shorter concept, with commentary on the picture in parentheses.

Bank (Varsity IM champ): I have a secret crush on Brandy.
Bell (Prom '97 off the chain!): If I remind you how bad the others are, you might think I'm semi-decent.
Cott (Adam's Apple implants pull the wool): I'm into numbers, so I'll go with the Asian guy.
Levine (Dude from "The Mad Real World" on Chappelle's Show): Since I went to a small liberal arts school like Simmons, I'll win.
MacDonald (Ashlee Simpson with 80s hair): I'm "different" so you'll pick me.
Renee (hot enough that I understand why she's using only her first name): The WNBA is a favorite of tough women.
Williams (OK, you played football. We get it.): I'm going to use the fact that Simmons likes Stallone.

Bank and Cott are the finalists. Williams shows, with Renee closing fast (OK, that was just for the picture).

Simmons: cut the cute shit and just give them the keys to the site for a day each. Whoever screws up the least gets the job. That so hard?