Original King of Middle Aged Self Absorbtion

Peter King's columns probably deserve criticism like I give to Gammons'. The daughter updates and coffee criticism are almost too easy a target. Whether it's Favre, Parcells, Belichick, or Plummer, he's always kneepadded up. I'll just hit the highlights...

1) Apparently Charles Woodson nerted in Peter's latte. He's been killing him for weeks.

2) The Leinart thing is SGIB. And Peter showed his modesty by refusing to admit error on Tuesday. Look, Leinart is up to his elbows in tang at USC. Odds are, Peter's "2 calls to his cellphone over 8 days" probably occurred mid-coital. I wouldn't call him back either, even if all future good publicity depended on it (and that's the problem with King/Gammons/everyone else). On the substance of the matter, I wouldn't talk either. If I were Leinart, I'd want to keep every option open, considering the off-season surgery. Why close off any possibility?

3) Then there's this... "I guess I just never went to law school. This strikes me as Person A punching Person B in the jaw, then Person A suing Person B because Person A got a broken hand." Or it's Person A doing nothing of significance to Person B, but Person B suing person A completely frivolously. Name Yogi's damages, Peter.

4) Peter's "unforgettable night" at Cameron Indoor was a 24 point win in a game in which he had no rooting interest. Perspective.

5) The Lady likes House, but I'm so-so on it. Hugh Laurie is great (but better on MI-5). King, naturally overdoes it.

So is there any way for sports journalists not to be such self absorbed starfuckers?