Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Scoops, I did it again

I've read a few things written by Scoop Jackson in Slam, but now he's moving to Page 2. His manifesto is riddled with questionable statements.

"I believe there will never be an African-American commissioner in professional sports."

I don't see any reason for this. Frank Robinson was pretty high up in the MLB hierarchy. Of course there'll be a black commissioner. Saying this makes it a bigger deal than it is.

"I believe every time you hear "first black" in sports, it's an affirmation that racism in sports still exists."

Wait, didn't you just...

"I believe there should be a women's sports network."

I agree with this. Take all WNBA highlights off ESPN and put them somewhere I can't find them.

"I believe it's hypocritical for alcohol companies to sponsor NASCAR drivers."

This is the dumbest editor-driven sportswriter controversy. Have alcohol companies been vocal advocates for making right turns? for wearing pants that aren't attached to shirts? The freaking drivers don't get wasted before the races (though Mr. Excitement may have led us to believe otherwise).

"I believe the greatest rivalry in sports is not Red Sox/Yankees, UNC/Duke, Ali/Frazier or Borg/McEnroe; it's Pat Summitt/Geno Auriemma."

Come on. Everyone knows the greatest rivalry in sports is Dan/Dave. (Actually Rangers/Celtic is the greatest rivalry)

"I believe USC with Mike Williams would have beat all but five NFL teams."

I don't think I can even dignify this argument with my snark. Nobody who writes this should be paid to tell people what he thinks.

"I believe until she has a child, Serena Williams is the sexiest female athlete alive."

OK. She is not the sexiest female athlete in a world where [on April 19th insert Maria Sharapova's name here] exists. That said, he's dead right that when Serena has a child, it's all over. Seriously. Trouble.

"I believe Biggie's "Either you sling rock or got a wicked jump shot" is the best sports lyric ever."

Not bad. I got more hits than Sadaharu Oh and I got mad hits like I was Rod Carew. Anybody got anything better?

Something tells me Scoop here is going to provide plenty of fodder for the Corporate HQ.