Sportswriter Roundup

Shorter John Donovan: Damn You Peter Gammons!!!

Shorter Peter King: As the man who wrote thrice on a dude pissing himself last year right before the draft, I cannot understand why my usually compliant sources won't tell me anything. And Terrell Owens can choke on a field hockey stick.

Shorter Lang Whitaker: Hawks RULE!!! Actually, I give props. His column reads like something I'd write. Especially the link to the Pirate and the porn star retraction.

Not really a shorter Bill Simmons Cowbell (link bad tomorrow, look in the archives for 4/18): Just a point he mentions: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler giggling their way through Weekend Update like two teenagers who just did a round of Whip-Its. See, he makes it look like they're unprofessional because they crack up at their own jokes, but when I watch it, that's not the rub. I think it's pretty clear that they both giggle for the sole reason of covering up the failure of the delivery of the previous joke. Seriously. Watch it again. Fey always giggles when a joke bombs. It's not just unprofessional, it's comedic fraud. Fallon cracked up, but at least he appeared genuine. I think Fey and Poehler are premeditated in their giggles. And that sucks.

Jeff Merron's List: One interesting anecdote - #7. O Henry penned.