I want a little thang in my yin-yang: Gameday Review

I know what you're thinking... What's the point in doing this on Monday? Well, I've been away, and I haven't been able to post. Normally the recap will go up on Sunday. I state the definitive pronouncements of the pundits and laugh at how off they were. Keep track of all the "one of the best... in all of college football" we'll hear throughout the year. And watch how predictions may shift over the course of the year. As always, these guys are gatekeepers about which games are talked about, and many of the voters who influence the selection of championship contenders rely on this show.

Divided by pundit

Corso:
Most intriguing - ND/Pitt "It don't get any better than this..."
USC will lose, not go to Rose Bowl - "major problems on defense" "they'll miss Norm Chow on road"
If he we're coaching he'd "go to the nearest bakery and get me some cupcakes." Schedule doesn't matter as long as you win.
DJ Shockley will have a great year, lead UGA to the SEC east.
N. Ill. gives Michigan "all they can handle" but Mich wins.
NSFMF: BGSU over Wisconsin (and I like thinking he says "Not so fast, Motherfucker!")
ND: schedule too tough, 1-5 through first 6 at best.
Air Force over Washington.
Leak has troubles before the snap, Josh Portis gets in games.
Miami wins by a TD
NSFMF: NC St. over Va. Tech.
Leinart posing in GQ makes him a pussy on the field ("softens you up"). My vote for best statement of the day.
NSFMF: Clemson over TAMU.
Auburn wins low scoring game.
Miami K kicks 4 FGs in win.

Herbstreit:
Most intriguing - Auburn/Ga. Tech
USC won't lose until the BCS championship game.
Is using the "intersectional" [meaningless] language, and calls on ADs to schedule tougher OOC opponents with the 12th game.
Robert Meachem (Tenn) is one of the best receivers in all of college football.
UGA offense will be completely different.
Drew Tate is one of the best dual threat QBs in all of college football.
"Excited about Penn State's offense"
Ohio State will get a scare against Miami.
Wisconsin wins.
ND is 4-2 in first 6 games, average 30 ppg. Defense better than anticipated.
Miami wins close.
Palko and Quinn "could be 2 of the best pro-style QBs we'll see this year" (maybe not objective, but Herbie has been going to "the best" line a lot so far)
Va Tech wins close.
Texas A&M wins, Clemson quits when down. (My vote for worst statement of the day).
Auburn wins.

Fowler:
USC will be great on offense "no doubt about that."
Road challenges for USC are tough - "all those teams can score".
ACC "gets it" with scheduling (by having tough in-conference games early? He rags on all the cupcake matchups the rest of the weekend. Seems like Fowler thinks football schedules should be determined by the Gameday Production staff meeting based on compelling matchups)
Who is "Joap Ehh"? "Excited about Penn State's offense"
ND "cleaning up" in recruiting.
It's big of Deion to help out Devin Hester. (Whatever that means).
Texas wins dominant.
A lot of geniuses in college football, but Corso is not one.

Alberts:
Wisconsin over BGSU.
Don't expect Leak to have 10 rushing TDs this year.

May:
BGSU will beat Wisconsin.
ND schedule too tough. First 6 games: 1-5 or 0-6. Defense sucks. Logic quandry: ND's defense was utterly terrible last year AND they lost all their starters. As the old joke goes "this food is terrible, and the portions are so small..."

Howard:
Uses "we" and "our" to describe Michigan. Awesome.
Upset may happen with BGSU. He makes the pick.
Spoke with Coach "Myers" at Florida. First hand knowledge!

Holtz:
Fowler says Holtz says "they'll dominate colelge football" and Holtz agrees because they're doing such a great job recruiting.

Miscellaneous:
LaChey (heir to the Chinese Noodle fortune) says Deion "reinvented the playmaker position". Thanks for that excellent EA Sports analysis, now go back to falsettos and nailing a muppetmouthed walking pair of tits. I give Lachey this: he admitted he's biased after doing the piece on Hester. He stated right there everything that's wrong with this show (and polling in general). You can't rely on access to programs for your job, then objectively rate teams without bringing in personal feelings towards those programs. He then picks the Canes, sentimentally.

Ticker and Oral picks (no spreads, Miami/FSU not included, and also, would it kill ESPN not to say on the ticker that a pick is coming up when it clearly isn't?):
Corso: 17-5
Herbstreit: 18-4

My take on the whole thing:
Adding all the new guys doesn't help.
Hebrstreit seems more prone to hyperbole than before.
Three Not So Fasts! Hold it in, dude. Think about baseball or Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day.
Fowler, "JoePa" is pronounced like "FUPA", not Foop-uhh. I know I'm repeating myself but it really bothered me. Like when he says "uggggahh"instead of "You-Gee-Ehh".
Fowler and Herbstreit both have been getting in subtle digs at Corso all year. I have a weird feeling that they're trying to run him off but are afraid to tell him outright.

And a non-Gameday related punditwatch: Aaron Taylor is an idiot. And he dared to wear a purple tie. General and I thought he might've mixed up his Grape Ape costume with his analyst suit. Then we remembered he doesn't need a costume.