Tuesday, December 13, 2005

A day late World Cup review

Just a warning for those readers here for the college football and nothing else. Come June, this will be World Cup central. Seriously.

The draft was on Friday and with all honesty, when I saw who the US was matched with, I pulled a Krayzee Eyez Killah.

"Muthafucka, what the fuck!"

The optimists (and Eddie Johnson) are talking about how Italy ain't as good as they once were, and how the Czech Republic is overhyped. Screw all that. The first two games the US has to play, in Europe, where we suck, are against the two best keepers in the whole damn world (Buffon and Cech). I'm sitting here thinking scoreless draws are about as good as we can hope. Then we have to have a huge number against Ghana and hope the others screw up somewhere. So, what I'm saying is: this could end up bad. Not France '98 bad, but bad.

The lesson from the draw: the seeding that says Mexico is better than us (which I do not believe) is bullshit and completely screws us.

I'll also go on record here saying that I actually think our group isn't the toughest. I'd give that to C. Argentina are the second best team in the tournament. The Netherlands are one of the 7 teams I think have an actual chance to win the whole thing. Serbia/Montenegro are about as good as the US. And Cote d'Ivoire I think are as dangerous or moreso than Ghana. If the US got screwed by the seeding, the Dutch got tied up with kite-fighting glass string and sodomized with a saguaro cactus.

Other notes:

  • Germany and England may as well be given byes to the knockout stage.
  • I think Ukraine win group H. Spain need a crazy result to advance, but get it. They then lose in the first match of the knockout.
  • Group F will be interesting for two reasons: (a) because Brazil are unbelievably fun to watch; and (b) because the other three teams are about comparable in talent and ability (they're all decent but not good enough to threaten a late run in the tournament). Should be a good battle for second.

Looking back at 2002, that was a really messed up tournament. Then Euro 2004 was screwy too. I get the feeling it's time for a straight, uninteresting, no upsets kind of tournament. In fact, I don't see many of the favorites flaming out early. My early predictions: Germany, Poland, England, Sweden, Argentina, Netherlands, Portugal, Iran, Italy, Czech Republic, Brazil, Croatia, France, South Korea, Ukraine, and Spain. Final 4: England, Argentina, Brazil and the Czech Republic (fear the hot keeper). England upsets Argentina in the semi, with karma from the hand of God and that pussy ass dive that got Beckham sent off helping. Brazil wins an incredibly entertaining match over the Czechs. And in the final, Brazil utterly annihilates England. Yes, I know South American teams don't win when the Cup is in Europe. But this is no South American team. Brazil is head and shoulders better than the rest of the world. And it'll be the English who will have to suffer the pain this time. Ronaldinho and Cech are the stars of the tournament. Wayne Rooney would have won the Golden Boot after a hat trick in the Trinidad and Tobago match, but he accumulates cards, is forced to sit out the final, where Ronaldo scores twice to take it away from him. Yes, that Ronaldo. And at the end of the tournament, writers aren't sure if he's legion with Pele and Maradona.

In any event, I can't wait. And don't let my dire predictions fool you. I'm 100% for Sam's Army. Just wish we were playing some other teams.