Sunday, February 27, 2005

Intern Contest Continued

Bill Simmons has made his first round of cuts. Obviously just to stifle my criticism, he has mixed up the numbers. So my earlier post won't relate perfectly. Also, the shorter concept won't work as well with this round. General criticism: the topic pretty much sought out copying Simmons, and thus we have 25 pretty similar entries. In parentheses are the previous numbers.

Bank (22): Virtues-Cites Roberto Baggio's choke, mocks Fox NFL Sunday. Sins-knows the tag line to Trimspa (I'm usually vomiting by then), Red Sox Suckup (henceforth "RSS"), Goes for the easy NHL joke.
Bell (6): Virtues-Mocks (I think) the women of the contest. Sins-Scotch Meat and Queer Eye jokes hint at my initial impression (Never gotten laid), Surreal Life joke is lame, Beer Pong Reference (henceforth "BPR"), mocks the south without knowing how to spell Chattahoochee. I would've cut this guy before the final 25.
Brill (15): Virtues-Mocks Yao, Mocks the SG Cartoon, The Ostrich is pretty good. Sins-mentions Wanda Does It (freaking terrible).
Busch (Late Entry): Virtues-Mocks Peter King and BS, Mocks Max Kellerman. Sins-didn't follow through with Sportscenter Odds, Kimmel reference is a suckup.
Cott (1): Virtues-Gold Club reference, Turkoglu, Storytellers, Lipton. Sins-Favorable view towards Georgia Tech (and he's a UGA grad???). One of the better entries.
DeMarco (9): Virtues-Miz, View From The Booth, Yao. Sins-BPR, Win Mark Cuban's $ too reminiscent of The Benefactor.
Gamelin (10): Virtues-Elimidate, Crazy betting show. Sins-Revenge of Nerds idea could've been good, Real World idea is lame, goes for the easy joke consistently. I'd cut her.
Levine (24): Virtues-Amazing Race idea better than others. Sins-Not as funny as others, MJ, Magic footage as filler is lame. I might cut him.
Lorenz (21):Virtues-None. Sins-too verbose, not funny, explains her jokes, Utterly terrible suckup at the end. The first person I'd cut.
Luckham (12): Virtues-Hochuli reference is classic, "My Dad" is inventive comparatively, Deputy Diesel, nice crack on Anna Benson. Sins-Bad intro. One of the better ones.
MacDonald (13): Virtues-Few and far between. Sins-All of her ideas are half baked. Cut.
"Renee" (25): Virtues-The Mealticket. Sins-Fro joke doesn't work.
Spitzer (16): Virtues-"The Root" is hilarious, Mocks Carl Everett, Bol singing Europe. Sins-RSS (but he kind of pulls it off). One of the better ones.
Treff (7): Virtues-None whatsoever. Sins-Writes like a third grader, no good ideas, no ideas thought through. Immediate cut.
Wainscott (8): Virtues-Just about all, makes fun of the women bragging on their chests, Kin, Skank, all the ideas are pretty solid. Sins-Few. The frontrunner.
Williams (23): Virtues-Few. Sins-XHL is a straight ripoff, Nothing is really funny, What's the joke on Cobb County? Cut.

Eliminated (whether SG got it right or wrong)
Barkan (5): Disappointment. I thought he was much better in the original. Too much RSS.
Fox (18): Right call to cut. Not funny, can't spell.
Freedman (11): Not too funny.
Locraft (19): Seems like he just wrote his column based on his DVD collection.
Mason (14): I thought this guy was the frontrunner, both in the first round and this round. Merchant bit is classic, Brown Beats the Pros is pretty good too. Wrong call to cut.
McManus (2): This one was good enough to advance. I like the wallball bit.
Rebello (4): Too much RSS.
Regnier (3): This one was pretty good. Much better than Lorenz.
Silva (20): Awful. Absolutely right to cut.

There you have it. I think he was wrong to cut 3 of them. The frontrunners now (wear it as a badge of honor as you're cut next time) are Cott, Luckham, Spitzer and Wainscott. I'm pulling for Wainscott.