Foggy Bottom Awesomeness

Washington, DC is a fun town for lots of reasons.

1) Dan's Cafe in Adams Morgan features bartenders that purposefully act like cocksuckers toward patrons; also serve "a jack and coke" in the form of a tupperware bowl of ice, a pint of Jack Daniel's, two glasses and a can of coke.

2) Rhino Bar and Pumphouse in Georgetown features loud as fuck Penn State Alumni upstairs and asstons of Bostonians bitching about Fox's blackout rules, whilst I have 18 Yuenglings.

3) Five Guys might be the best burger I've ever had, but 18 Yuenglings may have clouded my vision.

4) Millie and Al's in Adams Morgan features a decorative skeleton which dances at the same time a huge lightbulb goes off, and at that precise moment jello shooters are served happily. And Dinosaur Jr. rocked the jukebox.

5) Old Ebbitt Grill made me feel like I was a member of the Rat Pack.

6) Chloe (and no, I'm not a club-type guy) featured a DJ who played stuff the crowd knew (top 40 hip hop), but the biggest pop of the night came from him playing "Don't You Want Me" by Human League. Yes. Gold Digger was played twice, Candy Shop got a pretty good cheer, but the noise was far loudest for Don't You Want Me, BAY BAY, Don't you want me OHHH-OH-OH-OH. I love it. Plus, I watched bouncers break up 2 fights between women.

7) Raddest music I heard all weekend was outside Ghana Cafe. Still Flyin' need to hit that shit when they tour the Tidewater.

8) Not really a DC bar tour, but talk about AirTran. Roundtrip fare: $88. Now that's an exceptional thing. Of course, everything else was pretty much screwed up (luggage, delays). But I think AirTran's new slogan is really great: "It's $88. Shut the Fuck Up."

9) The weather was great. Comedy was golden. A great bachelor party.