Monday, October 03, 2005

Gameday Recap: Lee Mistakes his Crestor for Crystal Meth edition.

Day late, dollar short, etc. Nonetheless, here's my recap. With added snark.

The crew is in Tempe this week, where they're full of crap, but it's a dry crap...

"Slim and None" chance for ASU to beat USC.
Advises the dink and dump style to beat USC (I think CFN hit on this a few weeks ago)
VT needs to watch out.
ND passing D is suspect.
Texas loses to A&M, Tech or Oklahoma.
NSFMF for Nebraska 5 minutes after the others talked about that game. Soft foods and incontinence pills time.
Announces that he coached in the Big 10 for ten years, saw great offensive football. Clearly he has not taken his medicine. When Corso coached in the Big Ten, the average team passed the ball like, never.
Michigan State won't win the Big 10 because schedule is too tough.
Mississippi State needs to throw the ball 50 times to beat LSU. Lee has obviously never seen MSU play. Says LSU wins close. Lee does not have it today.
Pulls the whole "they don't have a chance...NSF" routine with Florida. Says Florida wins because of coaching and Leak. Just a red letter day for wrongness.
Corso's going on and on about how great USC is. Last few weeks he took the opposing side. It's like Hollywood Hogan turning his back on the NWO.
Talks about the "Michigan" attack with Cupito and Maroney.
Same NSFMF after talking up ND. Sign of the Cross was kind of out of place. He's goofy today.
This wasn't the focus of his comment, but Corso when talking about VT-WVU, Corso said that NC State was "[whistles, does gay looking hand gesture]". Is he saying the Pack are gay?
Cal can beat USC.
Drew Stanton leads the NFL in something. Lee, if you have been drinking, stop. If you haven't, start.
Game Changer: Reggie Bush
Florida wins with special teams passing. Wow. Just a fantastically deranged performance by Lee.

Same advice about clock control against USC.
Alabama D is one of the more athletic, experience in the country.
Big 12 North sucks except for Colorado.
Michigan State has a long tradition of melting down. Contender, but need to play better D.
Uses the word "composure" in the same sentence with "Fulmer" without laughing.
Now Kirk is fluffing USC too. It's getting to the point where they're trying to one up each other by saying "you don't think they're quite as incredibly awesome as I do - How dare you say they're merely totally dominant!"
VT won't lose at home. Today is a test for them.
Knocks Sam Keller for mocking Leinart and his hobnobbing with the stars. Kirk needs to know the audience better here, 'cause they side with Keller. While, yes, most dudes watching want to bang Jessica Simpson, they also like their football players not to be metrosexual hollywood douches. The producers know this, and that's why they left Nick Lachey locked in the boiler room at Ohio Stadium a month ago.
Game Changer: Brodie Croyle
Bush impression? OK, then.

Day of Unbeatens - hints at undressing (knows what he's talking about)
Mike Hart's health is key (Fowler seems to know what he's talking about - Guess the end of Tennis season has finally made a difference)
Some pub for the Texas D. Nice to see a national dude talk about someone other than a Young.
Knochs Texas Tech's schedule.
Nice little jab at Desmond for being "objective"
Interesting little comment about how Shula needs to start winning big games. That's definitely the comment of a guy who gets it. Compares Shula to John Cooper.
More JOE-puh. Annoyed.
Claims "history says you don't play well the week after an overtime loss". Is this true? I have a hypothesis that it's conventional wisdom, but maybe not true. I smell a football wonk episode, if I can track down the info.
Repeats that Marcus Vick is ready for the WVU crowd. (Ready to cuss em out. Also, everytime I read about an "obscene gesture" I imagine something more gross than just flipping a bird, something like the blowjob mouth thing).
Jokes about how VT might lose at home, unlike what the others say. Keep it real, dude.
Game Changer: Matt Trannon.
Now he says "JOE-puh" and makes fun of Corso for "Joe-Papa". Say it... "AAHHHH"

Gets a thumbs up from Herbstreit for his induction into the Cleveland Sports Hall of Fame. That looked silly.
Calls out Michigan State for not acting like they'd been there before. He doesn't even try to hide his contempt.
Doesn't disagree with Fowler when he said Howard's the only guy on the crew that can demo a Reggie Bush move. I'd pay to see Corso try. Broken hips galore. Also, I hate this segment.

USC lead fluffer. No team in history of football faster. The added bonus is that May's goatee is hidden behind Matt Leinart's balls.

Michigan is good because the players had a meeting. Good job on limiting his camera time, producers.

Lloyd Carr quotes Churchill and that's supposed to mean something.

Keith Jackson says he cannot remember a better offense than USC. This would be important if Jackson didn't seem a bit Beanoesque.
We might have the season GameFace leader today. This douche is wearing a costume muscle chest and of course that's painted. This, more than any other contestant, says "weird junior still living in the dorms but not an RA because he couldn't get the job."

General impression:
Fowler talked more than usual, Herbstreit was definitely more restrained. Corso insane.

Hindsight picks:
Corso: 18-6, 87-25 season
Herbstreit: 18-6, 91-20 season